Bungee Jumping Jokes
ALIGN=CENTER>Bungee JokesFrom: unknown source
Q. Why don't blind people Bungee Jump?
A. It scares the shit out of their guide dogs!
seeing eye dogs (for you Americans)
From: Jesse Anderson
Q. Why do tampons have such long strings?
A: So crabs can bungee jump.
From: Gail D Haberman
There's these two guys who don't speak Spanish and they really loved bungee jumping, so they go down to Sonora and they open a bungee jumping business on a cliff over the town of Guaymas. Well, the first time one took a practice jump, he went over fine, but when he sprang back up he was all covered in scratches. His friend obviously freaked out, but the guy went back down before he could help him. When he flew back, the scratches has progressed to bruises, but his friend on top again couldn't catch him. Finally, on the third spring back, his friend nabbed him. He was covered in open, bleeding wounds.
"What happened?" his friend asks him. "Was the cord too long?'
"No, the cord was fine," the leaper said. "It was terrible. There were these gangs down there and they were scream- ing and yelling and every time I'd get to the end of the cord, they'd hit me with sticks."
"What were they screaming?" his friend asked.
"I don't know, I could only make out one word. What's a piñata, anyway?"
ALIGN=CENTER>A funny Bungee StoryThe Guardian
November 6, 1993
URBAN MYTHS #60: THE HIGH JUMP
A FRIEND of a friend was cajoled, against his better judgment, into going bungee jumping with colleagues from work. They were all there, including one notoriously macho show-off scaffolder, built like a brick outhouse and a real action man. No challenge was too much for him: windsurfing, free-fall parachuting, mountain surfing - he'd even done the Cresta Run on a hot water bottle.
The bungee ropes were suspended from an immense crane over the local docks. A lift took them up the tower to the gantry and, as luck would have it, the nervous rookie got paired off with Mr Macho and his bragging motormouth. His ludicrous chat about how he'd seen it all before irked the instructor and his worried mate alike. At the top, the gloater stepped out on to the crane arm, smirking and leering at his friends below. Then the instructor shouted, "Go!" and the loudmouth leapt forward. But the instructor made as if to grab him , yelling: "Not you - I haven't tied you on properly yet!" Of course, this wasn't at all true; just the callous instructor's bowel-loosening joke to bring the braggart back down to earth.
ALIGN=CENTER>From the Darwin AwardsThanks to Dave Durbin for finding these at http://www.DarwinAwards.com/.
On the virtues of the riught equipment
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Middle of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and pulled his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the frigid waters of the Tacoma Narrows and Puget Sound and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "Is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's severed foot was never located.
Bungee Jumper, 1997 Darwin Awards Nominee, Confirmed True by Darwin (13 July 1997, Virginia) Eric A. Barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said.
The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. Barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, and he even remembered to measure the length of the bungee cords to make sure that they were a few feet short of the 70 foot drop. He proceeded to fall headfirst from the trestle, and hit the pavement 70 feet below several seconds later.
Fairfax County police said "The stretched length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground." Perhaps the deceased fast food worker should have stuck to the line, "Do you want fries with that?"