Q. Why don't blind people Bungee Jump?
A. It scares the shit out of their guide dogs!
seeing eye dogs (for you Americans)
From: Jesse Anderson
Q. Why do tampons have such long strings?
A: So crabs can bungee jump.
From: Gail D Haberman
There's these two guys who don't speak Spanish and they
really loved bungee jumping, so they go down to Sonora and
they open a bungee jumping business on a cliff over the
town of Guaymas. Well, the first time one took a practice
jump, he went over fine, but when he sprang back up he was
all covered in scratches. His friend obviously freaked out,
but the guy went back down before he could help him.
When he flew back, the scratches has progressed to
bruises, but his friend on top again couldn't catch him.
Finally, on the third spring back, his friend nabbed him. He
was covered in open, bleeding wounds.
"What happened?" his friend asks him. "Was the cord too
long?'
"No, the cord was fine," the leaper said. "It was terrible. There
were these gangs down there and they were scream- ing and yelling and
every time I'd get to the end of the cord, they'd hit me with
sticks."
"What were they screaming?" his friend asked.
"I don't know, I could only make out one word. What's a
piñata, anyway?"
A funny Bungee Story
The Guardian
November 6, 1993
URBAN MYTHS #60: THE HIGH JUMP
A FRIEND of a friend was cajoled, against his better judgment, into
going bungee jumping with colleagues from work. They were all there,
including one notoriously macho show-off scaffolder, built like a
brick outhouse and a real action man. No challenge was too much for
him: windsurfing, free-fall parachuting, mountain surfing - he'd even
done the Cresta Run on a hot water bottle.
The bungee ropes were suspended from an immense crane over the local
docks. A lift took them up the tower to the gantry and, as luck would
have it, the nervous rookie got paired off with Mr Macho and his
bragging motormouth. His ludicrous chat about how he'd seen it all
before irked the instructor and his worried mate alike. At the top,
the gloater stepped out on to the crane arm, smirking and leering at
his friends below. Then the instructor shouted, "Go!" and the
loudmouth leapt forward. But the instructor made as if to grab him ,
yelling: "Not you - I haven't tied you on properly yet!" Of
course, this wasn't at all true; just the callous instructor's
bowel-loosening joke to bring the braggart back down to earth.
This was posted to alt.folklore.urban,alt.sport.bungee by
snopes@netcom.com
From the Darwin Awards
Thanks to Dave
Durbin for finding these at http://www.DarwinAwards.com/.
On the virtues of the riught equipment
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Middle of
the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The conversation grew more heated and at
least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon
arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of
the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied
to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
pulled his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall
into the frigid waters of the Tacoma Narrows and Puget Sound and was
rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "Is
that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other
explanation for it." Bingham's severed foot was never located.
Bungee Jumper, 1997 Darwin Awards Nominee, Confirmed True by Darwin
(13 July 1997, Virginia) Eric A. Barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA
resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump
off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said.
The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and
strapped one end around his foot. Barcia had the foresight to anchor
the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, and he even
remembered to measure the length of the bungee cords to make sure that
they were a few feet short of the 70 foot drop. He proceeded to fall
headfirst from the trestle, and hit the pavement 70 feet below several
seconds later.
Fairfax County police said "The stretched length of the cord
that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle
and the ground." Perhaps the deceased fast food worker should have stuck
to the line, "Do you want fries with that?"
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